I feel for Brenden Morrow and the rest of the Stars’ leadership (including Dave Tippett). They’re going to be forced to teach Avery what Avery’s parents should have taught him: How to act like an adult that’s part of a team.

Brenden has famously said more than once that he hates Sean Avery so Heika asked him about it.

He doesn’t deny it and even admits that he’d probably still be saying it if they weren’t teammates now. But now that they are, Avery will get be getting a good talking-to.

“We feel we have something special going on here and we feel we are a good team. And I have no problem with what he does as a player or how he works hard or gets people upset. But some of the stuff that makes the individual more important than the team, that’s not something we want to see here.”
–Brenden Morrow

I really hope he and the rest of the team can rein in Avery’s rampant self-importance. If he can, then we’ll see what Avery really is, and I bet it’s not a $4-million player.

Sean @#%&-ing Avery. Your Dallas Stars signed a contract with Sean freaking Avery.

I am stunned and horrified. I can’t believe it. First, the Red Wings win the Stanley Cup and now this.

I hate Avery. I’ve hated him since he was a King. I hated him when he was a Red Wing, and I really hated him as Ranger.

He’s an agitator, which by itself is not a problem for me. But he has no boundaries. He isn’t afraid to make fun of a guy for having cancer, or afraid to bring race into his on-ice insults. Apparently this kind of thing doesn’t bother Brett Hull.

All day I’ve been ranting and raving over at IPB, where my fellow Stars fans and I got some sympathy from the wonderful IPB Irregulars. Otherwise I might think that I’m alone.

And I have left a couple of comments over at Heika’s DMN blog. I really try not to read the comments over there because they just infuriate me on normal days. They are trotting out the old “you’ll love him when he’s on your team” chestnut. And the “he’s a skilled winger in addition to being a pest” argument is popular.

First of all, I’ll never love him. I will always hate him. If he were to single-handedly bring a Stanley Cup to Dallas, I would still be mad that his name would be etched in our square alongside the names of my beloved Stars. I’d be happy with the Cup, but I’d still hate Sean flippin’ Avery.

Second of all, I don’t believe for one second that he’s anything more than an egomaniacal poof with a uncontrollable (and dirty) mouth.

My favorite is from several posters on Heika’s blog that actually said, in effect, “Sure, it seems like a stupid idea, but I trust Brett Hull so he must know what he’s doing.” Where did that come from? Why does Hull get the benefit of the assumption that he knows what he’s doing? He’s been a GM for PART of a season! This is his second major deal! I actually don’t have a problem with Hull in general, but I’m certainly not going to overlook the potential this deal has for catastrophe because I trust him. I have nothing to go on. I doubt very seriously that even one person ever looked at a Doug Armstrong acquisition that seemed crazy and then thought, “Well, it seems stupid, but I trust Army, so I’m sure it’s okay.” Ever.

To be fair, there are a lot of comments that echo my disgust with the whole thing, but they’re usually met with accusations that we’re just idiots who have never seen him play. I guess they don’t realize that we get Center Ice even out here in the sticks.

Sean effing Avery is a diver. One of his “strengths” is that he draws penalties. Steve Ott does it by getting somebody to punch him. Avery does it by flinging himself to the ice and then claiming he was punched. Avery is a worse diver than Peter Forsberg, and that’s saying a lot.

Avery fancies himself the Hollywood type. Oh, wait. Not even Hollywood. New York. He interned at Vogue, you know. The magazine. And was proud of it. He thinks he’s at the cutting edge of fashion and for all I know he might be. I don’t know any guys that dress like he does or talk about which designer they’re wearing and how much their shoes cost, so that must be the explanation. They’re just behind.

He’s dated some starlets but usually he’s not the first hockey player to date the hockey-player-dating starlets. Elisha Cuthbert seemed like quite the prize, but it turns out she’s taking a tour of the NHL and he was just a stop on it. He probably doesn’t care, though, as long as he’s being mentioned alongside by all the coolest gossip sites.

I’m not sure why he picked Dallas. Probably because there’s a Nieman-Marcus here. And because the Rangers didn’t want him back. Surely, with all of his supposed suitors, there was a team closer to the action that wanted him.

I would really like to know what Brenden Morrow thinks of this. He has never hidden his disdain for Avery in interviews. Somebody last season even mentioned having him as a teammate since Hull was so buddy-buddy with him back in the day, and he made a face as if he were hugely disgusted with the idea. Of course, we’ll never hear.

I wonder how Mike Modano feels about spending the last year or two of his brilliant and illustrious career in a locker room with Sean bleeping Avery. I wonder how Brad Richards will feel about getting retaliation hits for stuff Avery does. Or how Ott feels about being constantly compared to someone who doesn’t recognize lines he shouldn’t cross. I wonder how Marty Turco feels about watching Avery beat up the opposing goalie, knowing he’ll have to take the payback.

I wonder how Dave Tippett feels about having to make extra efforts to instill a little discipline in a grown man that still doesn’t have any.

I wonder how I would have felt if I’d bought season tickets. I’m pretty sure I’d have asked for my money back.

Last season was so great. And the playoffs were so exciting. I fell in love with every single player on the team. Even the new ones that were traded here. That’s actually unusual for me. I usually have at least one or two players that make me wish they were on some other team. But not last season.

All that buzz from the playoffs and the excitement for the next season were dealt a pretty crushing blow, in my opinion.

Now I’m dreading the next four years (FOUR YEARS!). I hope I can learn to live with seeing that horrible grin and that reprehensible game of his for 82 games. I hope I can be happy when things go well. I’m really dreading the first few games of this season where I find out if I can watch it. I will NEVER like him, but I’m hoping I can learn to live with it and still enjoy the rest of the team. I hope his publicist (*eyeroll*) limits his public speaking like he or she did back in New York.

I hope Brett Hull is happy with himself. Because I am not.

The thought of this whole thing is making me want to cry right now.

It’s almost as bad as Trade Deadline Day.

As I suspected, but hoped against, Niklas Hagman has signed with another team. He agreed to a four-year deal with the Toronto Maple Leaves. I hope he does well and I hope he’s not too miserable at that circus. Maybe he can be the one that turns them around. He can certainly give them some Penalty Killing advice.

Unfortunately, it’s not over. I like the fact that the Stars’ brass have laid low. I don’t want them spending crazy amounts for marginal players just because other teams are willing to. I think we’re fine.

There’s a certain player that I’d rather not mention that needs to sign with Tampa Bay or somebody and get his ass off the market before the Stars try to sign him. I’ll be so relieved when certain players are all signed up with other teams.

There isn’t anybody out there that I would pay a ton for. I liked Brian Rolston, but he picked the Devils (congratulations, Devils fans!) and I really didn’t want Brian Campbell. Thank goodness Chicago doesn’t know him that well and were willing to sign him. Michael Ryder was brought up a lot by Mike Heika over the last little while, but now Heika says the Stars didn’t make him an offer — probably because he already had several ridiculous ones already in his pocket.

Caitlin noticed that the roster on dallasstars.com has already lost Nik Hagman and Johann Holmqvist, but oddly still has Antti Miettinen. I wonder if that means anything.

Hopefully, Wednesday’s signings will clear up some of my worries.

It took me a little while to notice, but the Dallas Stars have some adorable Draft Day videos up on DallasStars.com.

Steve Ott looks about the same age now as he did back in 2000 when he was the Stars’ first pick. Even on the day he was drafted, they knew he was going to be an agitator. He was a big-time scorer with the Windsor Spitfires, too.

Stu Barnes looks so adorable! Look at that smile! He was drafted by the Winnipeg Jets (defunct) in 1989 and he “[struck] a blow for the little guy,” according to the announcers. He already had a reputation for being a character guy and it has proven to be well-deserved.

Brenden Morrow was unfortunately nicknamed “Chunks” as a kid, apparently, but I think he’s showed them. He also was just dripping with adorability as a kid. The announcers in 1997 thought 5′ 11″ was a lack of size. Times have changed.

And Mike Modano was the cutest of all. He was the first overall pick in 1988 and he was pretty overwhelmed, I think. There was talk all the way up to the moment of the first pick that it could either be he or Trevor Linden. He is embarrassed today by that haircut, but I’d venture to say it wasn’t his worst over the years. He made up for it by wearing a normal suit. In 1988 there was no telling what kind of outfit he could have chosen. His y’know-laced interview is priceless. He said he hoped to turn around the club and did he ever. That was twenty years ago.

The Draft just might be my new favorite thing.

I love Niklas Hagman. Just love him.

I love his penalty killing. One of the moves he often uses is staying up high, just a little below the point men of the opposing power play, and watching for a chance to intercept a pass between them. When he gets that chance (and he often does), he grabs it and runs. As a result, he had four shorthanded goals this past season.

I also get hypnotized by his stickwork and his footwork while he’s on the PK. His stick is constantly moving, trying to disrupt any passes, and his feet are constantly moving ready to go in any direction.

Nik is a guy that shoots. This season he found the net a lot. He also had a huge number of breakaways where he didn’t score. He’s so fast and so aware of the rest of the ice, that he gets breakaway chances, sometimes two or three of them in a game.

With all the setup guys on the team, we need shooters like Nik Hagman. His hat trick from three of Brad Richards’ five assists against the Blackhawks shows how a guy like Richards can use a guy like Hagman.

And he can really fly. We’ve seen him several times catch up with an opponent who’s gotten past the defense, and he can escape to open ice very well. He zips around the ice like crazy, stopping and starting and dodging and darting. It’s really fun to watch.

Razor told a story once about how Nik loved the skating part best when he was a kid. He said he would do a drill where he skated on one leg from one end of the rink to the other, then switch to the other leg for the trip back. I’d really like to see a demonstration of that.

This past season was the second in a row where he added at least nine goals to his total. He scored 27 goals and 41 points this season, starting with five goals in the first five games of the season.

Doug Armstrong acquired him from the Florida Panthers for a seventh-round pick. That’s all. A draft pick. In the seventh round. (Although the more I see of the way Florida does business, the more I see it as a stupid move by them rather than a particularly shrewd move by Army.)

He seems like a funny guy. The Stars have several players that answer interviewers honestly and interestingly, and Hagman is one of them. I like to think he’s a favorite guy in the room, based on how cool and humble and funny he seems.

The Stars’ front office is not sounding too encouraging on the subject of re-signing Hagman before he becomes a free agent, though. Up until now, he’s been making less than a million a season. He deserves a huge raise, but it sounds like the Stars aren’t offering it to him. I think they like him, but they might think they can’t afford him and that he deserves to get what he can get.

I’m holding out the faint hope that the Stars offered him only slightly less than he can get on the open market and that he decides he’ll take a slight discount to stay with the Stars. I wouldn’t call him a money-grubber if he went to a team that could pay him, though. He deserves a raise, but I wish he could get it here.

I really hope he stays. Because I love that guy.

The NHL has released the details of next year’s salary cap.

NEW YORK/TORONTO (June 26, 2008) - The National Hockey League and the National Hockey League Players’ Association announced today that the Team Payroll Range established for the 2008-09 League Year, pursuant to the Collective Bargaining Agreement, provides for a Lower Limit of $40.7 million, an Adjusted Midpoint of $48.7 million and an Upper Limit of $56.7 million.

The National Hockey League canceled an entire season to get a salary cap for the supposed purpose of reining in player salaries, and after three seasons, the floor is higher than the original ceiling.

It’s kind of funny that the teams that were really crying poor and calling for a salary cap before the lockout, are now required to spend more than the original $39-million cap they insisted on.

When the cap was installed, the feeling also seemed to be that the player that spends his whole career with one team would be rare, and the salaries would be held in check despite the GMs of the League.

But there have been quite a few players signing extremely long deals. Vinny Lecavalier is apparently about to sign a nine-year deal for an average of $8.5 million a year. Alex Ovechkin signed a thirteen-year deal. Rick DiPietro is currently in the throes of his fifteen-year deal.

Even the Stars have signed some fairly long contracts with Brenden Morrow and Mike Ribeiro. Although they seem downright conservative these days.

All of these contracts seem like crazy amounts of money, too. But in the 6th year of Ovie’s contract, for example, it’s going to seem like a HUGE bargain. Unless he has a career-ending injury, of course. Or turns into a whiner and starts to slack because the team never wins.

I don’t have a problem in general with the giant, long contract. It can really go either way. It’s just a much bigger swing than a short, manageable contract. When things work out it’s extra-gratifying. When things don’t work out, it’s extra extra bad.

While the cap keeps going up and the top salaries are basically back where they were before the lockout, what the cap really did was reduce the middle class. The total is set, so when these elite players get the $9 million deals, that leaves less for everybody else. The bottom ranks swell, and the middle ranks shrink. The million-or-less player is part of a much bigger group now. The $4- to $5-million player is rarer than it was.

Still, even the league minimum is a good salary. Personally, I was against the cap, and I still am in principle, but I don’t think the players are suffering as much as I thought they might. (And of course, I use the term “suffering” relative to pre-lockout salaries. Not, you know, actual suffering.)

I really don’t know where to start to recap the trip to Ottawa. That’s why it’s taking me so long to post something. I just don’t know where to start.

IPB and Top Shelf and The Humming Giraffe all have great stories about the weekend, so check them all out.

In the meantime, I might have to bite this project off in small pieces in order to get it done.

I’ll start by saying how hugely entertaining everybody was that I met there. I got to meet Pookie and Schnookie and Heather B. and Meg and alix and Hockeygirl in person for the first time and they were all even cooler than I had hoped. Every single one of them.

Schnookie and Heather were careful to keep reminding us all that the actual NHL Draft ceremonies were going to be excruciatingly dull and we should be prepared for that. They didn’t think going to it would be dull, but the actual drafting of teenage boys that we won’t even hear of again for a few years might not hold our interest.

But damned if it didn’t. The actual drafting process was full-on fascinating. We headed out to the arena at about 4pm or so and walked past the “fest” that was basically a handful of bounce houses and the obligatory (yet kinda cool) giant inflatable hockey player.

Once inside, we climbed to the upper levels, stopping along the way to see the various NHL trophies on display and check out the hockey card tables. As we were on our way around to our section, Bill Guerin came from the other direction and did the little dance to go around Schnookie. And they both said excuse me to the other. I’ll take back a few things I’ve said about Guerin. He seemed like a polite guy. He was very snappily dressed, I’ll certainly give him that.

When we found our seats and sat down, we could see the tables on the floor for each team in the order it finished the ‘07-’08 season, in reverse order from worst (Tampa Bay) to first (the hated Wings). The Stars were third from Detroit. That’s not too bad a finish.

Somebody got on the PA and called for everyone to take their seats and we all got a little thrill when we realized he wasn’t talking to the fans. He was talking to the team officials milling around their respective tables.

In Round 1, each team had plenty of time and took it all, so it took several hours to get through 30 picks. The other time-drag was from all the trades. (The 49th pick was the Coyotes’ and it had been traded three times — once by the Coyotes themselves! Florida to Phoenix to Ottawa to Phoenix. I decided they were just doing a bit. They were obviously having a contest with the Islanders to see who could get the most-traded pick.)

We were all happily surprised at how interesting the first round was, then we started bracing ourselves for the drag the rest of the rounds would be. And then they turned out to be fun too!

For one thing, the Stars had their first pick in the second round. I saw Brett Hull and Les Jackson and occasionally Dave Tippett hanging around their table in the back of the room with the teams that did pretty well. All night Friday they just sat around not picking, while teams like Phoenix and the NY Islanders had what seemed like 10 picks each.

They eventually drafted a goalie named Tyler Beskorowany. I saw an article in his hometown paper with the headline:

“Dallas Drafts Attack Goalie”

When I saw it, I immediately thought, “Wow, the drafts have really developed some chemistry fast, to get together so soon to attack a goalie.”

As it turns out, his team is called the Attack. Heh.

I have mentioned before that I follow a couple of players specifically because they were drafted the first time I watched the Draft on TV. Now there is a slew of kids I’ll be pulling for that were drafted this year.

I think we might have to watch for the announcement for where the next Draft will be.

We all went down to the arena for the second day of the Draft. The Stars didn’t have any picks in the first round, so today was their turn.

For their second pick of the day, at 89 overall (round 3), they picked Scott Winkler from Russell Stover. I am not making that up.

Russell Stover has a team in the Mid West Elite Hockey League. I have absolutely no understanding of the amateur hockey systems that feed the NHL, but it appears that it’s AAA Midget and that the next step up would be Junior B, then Junior A, where most NHL draftees are from. It seems to be on the level of elite high school teams.

I had to look it up the minute I got back to the hotel room, to make sure Brett Hull wasn’t just doing a bit. If he was, they all fell for it.

Several high school players from Minnesota were drafted this weekend, so it’s not unusual, I guess, to take kids from that level.

The rest of the Stars picks were fairly routine.

2nd round 59th overall TYLER BESKOROWANY Goalie
3rd round 89th overall SCOTT WINKLER Center
5th round 149th overall PHILIP LARSEN Defenseman
6th round 176th overall MATTHEW TASSONE Center
7th round 209th overall MIKE BERGIN Defenseman

I’ll have a separate post later that describes just how much fun the NHL Draft was. Because it was a lot of fun. I just had to point out that we got a player from Russell Stover.

All of you that thought going to the NHL Draft would be excruciatingly boring, raise your hand. Well, you’re wrong. We had a great time. We even talked to an Ottawa fan who was very nice.

But, it’s really really really late, so let’s just check our list, and I’ll have more later.

Buffalo, NY
Niagra Falls
A Great Lake
The Canadian Border
Canada
The NHL Draft

Whoa. Looks like I’m done! Tomorrow is all elective.

I made it to Buffalo! 
Heather B. picked me up at the airport and gave me a really nice tour of the lovely city of Buffalo. Mostly houses. I love looking at houses. It was very sweet of her to drive me around.

We also drove right by Lake Erie. It was right there next to the highway. As if it were just an everyday thing to be a Great Lake.

Tomorrow we’ll head up north and across the border.

Let’s see how we’re doing on the list so far…

Buffalo, NY
Niagra Falls
A Great Lake
The Canadian Border
Canada
The NHL Draft

So far so good!