Every day, I look at the schedule and make a mental list of all the teams I want to lose that night. I often want all of them to lose.
Tonight is a big night, with lots of games. Here’s who needs to lose:
Washington vs. New Jersey — Washington, because I’m sick of hearing about Ovie.
Tampa Bay vs. NY Islanders — Islanders, because I have a lot of friends on Tampa Bay.
St. Louis vs. Columbus — Columbus, because they’re closer to us than St. Louis.
Pittsburgh vs. Montreal — Pittsburgh, because they keep healthy-scratching my beloved Bouche and I want them to fail miserably whenever he’s not on the ice. If he plays tonight then I want them to win.
Los Angeles vs. Ottawa — Los Angeles, just because they’re in our division.
Florida vs. Toronto — Don’t really care about this one.
Atlanta vs. NY Rangers — Ditto.
Phoenix vs. Nashville — Phoenix, because they’re closer to us.
Chicago vs. Edmonton — Edmonton for the same reason.
Carolina vs. Vancouver — Vancouver, since they’re tied with us, too. Sorry, alix, it’s strictly business. Any other time, I’d be rooting for the Canucks.
Calgary vs. Dallas — Well, obvy. Calgary must LOSE.